Posted in Featured, Guest Blog, Poetry, Writing

KIMBO

This week has me grinning from ear to ear, not only do I get to share with you my lovely readers a piece from an avid reader of this blog but also to take a little break from being center-stage all the time here.

Without further much ado, let me take you straight to this week’s lovely contribution:

KIMBO

by Maurice Muzini

Empty kimbo tin
This ghastly kimbo tin
Slipping into my bag,
Next to my exercise books
Warm with food
Fills my bag with the aroma
Of my mom’s cooking
Latched onto my back
I feel the heat
Slowly dying out
As i journey on
Through the gate,
into my classroom.
At break time,
I dare not pull it out
Lest my peers disown me for being ‘local’
Parting with a few shillings
I sit among the ‘silver spoons’
Gouging on oily foods
Chatting away about super-heroes
Arguing which one has greater powers
By now it holds cold hard food
As my books reek of onions and green pepper
I hesitate but slam them on the desk
Closing my kitchen of a bag in a flash
The bell goes,
It’s lunch time,
Before partaking of its contents
I whet my appetite
Playing soccer
Showing off moves i coined from the idiot-box
Hunger grips my insides
Drawing me towards my kimbo tin
Waiting to be emptied
But for me
Not in front of all these lunch-box-carrying individuals
I seek asylum behind the classroom
Streaks of sweat run down my face
As reach in
Lifting it into my shaky palm
I burst it open
Swiping a handful
Into my mouth it goes
On the first gulp
I throw my back against the wall
Lift my head
Sighing in relief
I look straight
Seeing others eating out of tins similar to mine.

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Β© Winnie the Pooh

Hope you enjoyed this poem as much as I did. When I asked him the motivation behind it he told me this, “Well, back then, I joined a couple of friends who used to write, primarily poetry. It was a collective of people struck by the writing bug, it more less came to me as I desired to let these different experiences, notions and the like out. I think I was more less thinking how big of a deal we made things then that actually didn’t matter.”

All I can say to you Maurice is to keep it up! Poetry is one thing I love and I know you got it good! Thank you for contributing.

Thank you for reading as well you my dear reader. If you would like to contribute, send me an email on denisetuyi@yahoo.com.

What I’m loving this week:

  • That I have started meditating again but this time more conscious and learnt a trick from a friend of mine who I got to spend time with a few weeks ago. Also the Calm App to soothe the mind and bring the atmosphere of tranquility.
  • That I am more accepting to what my life’s trajectory is leading me even when it seems so hard to do at times. My pro tip is to keep trusting God in this journey and I pray that you too can find that for yourself.

 

πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«Β 

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Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Living

Candid Conversations

I know I mentioned that this year is more of inclusivity and that what I post will have more of other people than myself but this week’s post came to me just as I posted last week’s post and I couldn’t resist writing it.

So for those who sent in your work, I’m grateful for all your feedback, and pieces sent in privately and I’m planning on adding them somewhere throughout the year. There are many more slots available so feel free to chip in, suggest a friend to interview or a topic to talk about.

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Candid conversations was a title that came to me as I was talking to my housemates on so many things. Over time ever since we started staying together, we have definitely had conversations but come this New Year I was more intentional and gleaned all the wisdom I could from them. We had talks about NY resolutions, we had meaningful talks about money, our jobs, I mean, I could go on but that’s not the point.

Candid conversations, have lately pulled me in. If I go on a date (yes I’m single and I do go on dates 😁) and have conversations that matter best believe that I’ll agree to a second date.

At work, of course it’s meant to be a serious place, but let me tell you there’s something freeing when you can have candid talks as a unit and have a say in it.

But have you had candid conversations with yourself? Where you go deep with yourself, understand who you truly are behind the skin, the faΓ§ade we put out to look our best, beliefs we’ve never questioned, our moral compass, our insecurities, fears, stresses, you name it.

So my challenge this week is for you and I to seek candid conversations with those we love, with our God, with our purpose, our intentions, our goals but most importantly, with ourselves in the quiet of the day or night, however you like it.

Dictionary.com gives the word candid more than two meanings but these two define my intention to use this word for this blog much better:

canΒ·did [kan-did]

β€”adjective

  1. frank; outspoken; open and sincere: a candid critic.
  2. free from reservation, disguise, or subterfuge; straightforward: a candid opinion.

Speaking of that word, this week’s what I’m loving is a little candid not to sound redundant and central to many of what my quest to living true is all about. Keep reading…

What I’m loving this week:

  • I don’t think I’d classify this one as loving perse but in some way it was. I loved how they uncovered the lies, the blinders and the reality of the situation at hand. Finally got to watch the #SurvivingRKelly docuseries by Lifetime and so many emotions came to play. It’s taken this long and so many people harmed along the way all because a sick person whose money, gift and position was revered more than those around him. It’s so unbelievable that even with all that evidence people keep playing his songs. I recall awhile back an ex of mine showed me his ‘Trapped in the closet’ series and to be honest I had mixed feelings. I wasn’t sure if I loved it or if I hated it in the way he told the story. Bottom line after watching this series, I disgustedly regret watching it. Honestly, his songs were masterfully created. Had no idea the song ‘I look to you’ was both his and the late Whitney Houston. Dang I loved that song! He is a creative person and his signature tunes are well spread for any music lover to reminisce or want to revisit. It goes to show how he used his power, gift and manipulation to dupe the world to hate-love him but not have him accountable for any of his misdeeds. My survival story resonated and though it wasn’t that bad as the ladies in the show, I did identify with them. I’d like to share my full story but not yet ready to do it here on the blog. All I can say is it wasn’t that bad and that the perp still lives his life unperturbed and for so long it jaded my perception of men, their intentions and what they are all about. This being a candid post I thought I should give you a little background about why I support fully women who come out because let me tell you it ain’t the easiest thing to do. Also, can we shout out to Dominique’s mom who never stopped chasing/looking/crying and loving on her! That my friends is a mother’s love. I see so much of her and my mother. Teenage girls do need protection and love for sure. These streets aren’t safe. There are many forms of drugs and sex trafficking is indeed one. Thank God for all those survivors. It’s about time someone stopped that pedophile from going scott-free and keep causing harm to innocent families! If you haven’t watched the series I recommend that you please make time to watch it. By the end you will totally #MuteRKelly because it’s #TimesUp for him and allow ladies to say #MeToo without being doubted! It really is a gamechanger… Take it from me. πŸ™πŸ½

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That said, let me leave you with some pictures my lil brother took of me with no intentions of posting until when I watched the series the other day. πŸ€—

Thank you for reading!
πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«

Posted in Health, Life, Lifestyle, Living, Motivation, Writing

To self care, an urge that won’t go away.

Happy New Year my lovely readers πŸŽ‰ πŸŽ‡

We are off to a good start I can tell.

What better way to start than talk about something near and dear to my heart ❀

For a while now, there has been one constant thing that kept ringing in my heart over and over. Just before the year came to an end and after talking to some lovely friends of mine one thing stood out: Self care. Which to me translates to self love and is more or less the same if you ask me.

Self care, love it or hate is a trend that has taken the conscious world by a storm. I was introduced to it a few years ago during its onset and I loved the concept. At its heart it’s all about being a better person who then changes and makes their life with others even better. It goes on to make it even better that when you feel like you’re in a fog of dark clouds sometimes taking a time off, away from those causing it (sometimes it’s ourselves even) can help alleviate that fog. You know, taking time away to lick those wounds to total healing.

That said, you don’t have to agree with all that’s being paraded about it and touted by self care aficionados as the be all end all.

It is a matter of choice. By choosing to value yourself more than you would otherwise do gives you more empowerment that you would have needed from others. You essentially, take your matters in your own hands and become/have a say in the life you live.

When they say, self care is an inside job, they have good reason. I mean, look at it, had it been only for what we put out we’d be only a skeletal depiction of ourselves. I believe digging dip down inside ourselves, being able to hurl out the self sabotage tendencies we’ve become accustomed to thanks to circumstances that drove us there inadvertently leads us to being a better human.

I use ‘inadvertently’ here because it’s in the gradualness of those simple steps of seeking to be better that create the colossal change we seek.

And what a better thing to start with this year as we seek to grow, be better, move past hurdles and thrive in all facets of our lives?

My intentions all year long are to choose self care that will trickle over into how I treat fellow friends, family and everyone I come across really. Granted, this won’t be a smooth sail, but while at it, it’ll be one hell of a ride I am sure 😁

Care to join?

I’d love to hear from you, how are you approaching that urge in you that has been on your mind that seeks to leave you better than it found you in terms of growth and thriving this ’19?

Chime in πŸ’–

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It is with this post that I’d like to bring forth an idea that popped in my mind awhile ago. The idea is to have other people’s stories here on this blog. Stories that inspire hope and steer us to do better with our lifestyles. Everyday people doing great by their own rules by simply living life like a gift it is to us all.

Don’t worry, I’ll still be posting my personal stories but I’d like to capture more of other perspectives and ideas.

If you know anyone that can start us of, or are willing to be part of this new journey I’m taking here on the blog, please send me an inbox, comment below or contact me however suitable it is for you. Can’t wait to see how this pans out.

Let’s do this!

The weekly pictorial of yours truly that didn’t make it in ’18 is here. Shot by my bro Japh 😎

What I’m loving this week:

  • This lovely song that makes me want to dance every time I hear about it. Life’s about to get good – Shania Twain
  • My Instagram Stories @denisetuyilife lately and my Twitter page @denisetuyilife. Follow me if you haven’t yet πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜πŸ˜„
  • A reading app recommended by my lovely friend Yvonne P called AnyBooks available on Android where you can read most books on your phone, how cool is that! I’m a very happy girl after getting the app πŸ€— Thank you my sweet one 😘

Thank you for reading!
πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«

Posted in Lifestyle, Living, Motivation, Relationships

What one year can teach you

Happy holidays to you my amazing readers!

Whew! Can you believe the year is almost done! Just like that! I mean not to sound cliche but that was a quick fly past if you feel me.

I hope you had a lovely Christmas time with those you love and as I write this right now, I’m from filling my tummy up silly after a day away in the beautiful Lake Kivu in Rubavu. My stay there wasn’t all that but to me it felt and slowly became all that! Minus the creepy bad instances it was a good time to spend with my housemates as they got to see and experience the place for the first time. It was a much needed refreshing time to ponder on life choices and just in time for my end of 2018 blog πŸ˜„

It’s so easy to want to quickly turn a new page without really learning what the past wanted to have grasp, grow from or really emerge out as a wholesome human.

In that manner I wanted to take a little reflection of myself to write this piece that has been etched in my brain for a while now and more so now as the year comes to an end.

Just to give you my take on what a year can tech you is that in one year you are bound to discover that you are stronger than you thought you were. That you can take anything that is thrown at you, coupled with a good positive vibe, good influences and ride or die people who have your best interests at heart even if sometimes that has been you or just one trusted friend. That my friends, is a surefire dose to cure you one year of whatever comes your way.

Not to sound too Pollyanna and all that jazz, the most important thing to do, for yourself or even those around you is to take a keen look at your year and how it has been for you.

I have a few instances I’d like to share with you and maybe paint a weensy picture for you… In a a year you will realize that all that you thought you’d be and wanted to be has little value. The change will never be dramatic though some undergo that, but it will be gradual.

Heck, you might have thought you needed a stable relationship full of promise and a future together or a few thousands to match a lifestyle you so long to chase but all you got was a thwarted encounter and roadblocks to that but ended up gaining so much more than you hoped for.

Which brings me to my ten things this year has taught me. There are so many other things but I wanted to share with you these ten as they stood out for me and have made an impact in my life in more than just one way.

Here are simple note-to-self ten life lessons and carry forwards that I have learnt to the next year and beyond:

  1. Some things won’t make sense like feeling rejected for being yourself and as authentic as you have learnt to be but that shouldn’t deter you from being exactly who you are meant to be. The right rays will find you and although not the way you wanted and hoped for, it was what you needed.
  2. One loss, that leads to another, and onto another will always bring a gain you had not anticipated.
  3. Growth will come and shake you in ways untold. Career wise, creatively and in general especially as you turn a year old. Although, immaturity in certain places needs to be worked on you sis are doing it right especially when you catch yourself tripping!Β 
  4. Be open to learn something new even if it means leaving behind certain ideologies. You will be surprised some of the new things you learn have so much meaning for your life than when left close minded to a certain level intelligence.
  5. Don’t be afraid to live your skills out loud for fear of not being enough. There are people willing to help you polish it up and in due time you’ll make them and yourself proud.
  6. Whenever you hit rock bottom from your goals and seem to steer further from the truth, get back to the first place where all you had was you and your huge goal that seemed undo-able but eventually became your new normal. This goes to the health choices, fitness and emotional growth.
  7. Accept people for who they are as they come into your life for a purpose be it for the good or the bad. It’s way too easy to come with inhibitions or judgemental views but if you let those guards down you will meet an astounding aura and sensation that may linger on and maybe gain a real true friend with your best interests at heart.
  8. Learn and relearn what love is. Not only will you be left in wonder, you will also find that you have so much to learn and relearn when it comes to life and your choices.
  9. Find your wow-factor and polish it as often as you can. Granted, people go for the first impression and all but if you have that wow-factor polished, the right people will notice it and yes that includes your employer, business partner or teacher. Although it’s not bad being a plain Jane but where’s the fun in that? Embrace and polish your unique gifts!
  10. It will all come to full circle, remember that one time when you felt like a bad omen came as the year begun and feared all would come tumbling down? Well, just the other day you noticed three instances when they all to a full circle… Even the one that has had 3 years running! Wooohooo! Look at yourself girl! Just never give up!

I hope this article today inspires you to write down some of the ways this year has made you grow and taught you especially on the bleakest of days because dear friend, you made it this far and boy isn’t that just something to celebrate about?! Chime in!

As usual a number of images with yours truly to go with this article shot by my lil bro Japh awhile ago:

What I’m loving this week:

  • If you are like me way over into you 20’s and still battle acne I think this is a fix that can help. Beauty Lounge: How to conceal acne. Watch with discretion but just so you know it all has to start from the inside out when all else fails.
  • Just re-listned toΒ  Kelsea Ballerini – Peter Pan and I’m in my feels, like I have a freed a bird that has tortured me for a long time and I’m now free to be and live my life once again.

Thank you for reading!

πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«Β 

Posted in Life, Lifestyle, Living, Motivation

Somehow I Survived

If you follow me on some socials you must have seen this post coming.

Yeah, I’m that person who lost their phone towards the end of the year! Like what in the universe does bad luck have to do with this?!

To give you a tidbit of what transpired, I was on the verge of writing a new blog post for this week out of the blue because most of my ideas come to me when I commute back home mysteriously and I intuitively write them as soon as I get them. I was on this natural course of my evening commute and then out of nowhere some guy snatched my phone in the safest city to be in and I just lost it. I fell off the motorbike I was on (a common fixture in my commute) and then out of some sheer adrenaline rush/instinct/crazy idea I followed the guy wailing in English because for some weird reason my mother tongue (Kinyarwanda) escaped me! Dang! I should have hollered in Kinyarwanda and maybe saved that lil’ ol’ rascal o’ mine that has been with me since 2015!

I’ll have you know I keep my gadgets safe until they are old and useless and so for me this not very archaic device was near and dear to me because despite the age, it functioned quite okay.

All this happened Monday evening because I needed to be home early for some personal reasons. The blog I was to write was actually to be titled ‘Second Encounters Aren’t Promised. Cherish Each Moment’. It died as a draft but I may delve into it someday soon because it struck home the moment it came to me.

Most of Tuesday I spent thinking what I’d do to have ‘happy’ again in my life after so many mishaps that followed me through the year. For a moment I felt pity for the many loses I’ve had to endure through the year. A tear or two tried to escape where they were welling up mercilessly but my Wonder Woman instinct came to play and phew I saved them from trickling down!

This song Dear God – Hunter Hayes made more sense to me, said my heart’s desires to a T and definitely hit hard towards the end with this lyric: Dear God just remind me that You don’t mess up!

That of course didn’t deter me to count my blessings. Granted I kept a positive attitude through it all even as I write this right now. I came up with a list of things that I have lost and a counter of the things I’ve gained instead. To be honest, they have been more than the loses I faced, even though the loses felt like they were a universe huge. I’d really love to share it with of you but some were personal and I’m still learning to grow from those pains, cover that naked patch or truly heal from the heartbreak that came with the lose. I’m sure at a later time I’ll laugh about it, reflect on it or just thank God for being with me through it all even when I doubted His presence.

So here’s to you my beloved Tecno J7! You were my MVP! (Most valuable phone, go figure!)

 

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What I’m loving this week:

  • That I can download most apps to my laptop and still continue my social media life without a hitch… Save for WhatsApp.
  • That my momma rallied around her friends to console me and they even prayed for me! Yo that shit made me tear up a lil I won’t lie!
  • Also for all of you dear friends who reached out to find out if I am well, or wanted to know what happened, fought with me to find who had my phone even if we both know it won’t be coming back again. Lol, you my friends, individually and as a whole have been an amazing lot! I got mad love for y’all! XOXO!
  • This song that just had me tearing as I reflect on this year! Yo! 2Pac – Gave You My Heart β™‘

Thank you for reading!

πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«Β 

Posted in Love, Relationships, Stories From Dee

The Problem With Expectations

Expectations are something you are warned about when you go to certain dates, order some food, buying online stuff, you name it, the list is endless.

I mean, they don’t uprightly warn you about too much expectations and most definitely don’t tell you what to do when you leave expectation out of the picture but I’d be damned to say they don’t have a point when they warn you.

Not to be the bearer of grim news, which you are used to by now (the daily news has made sure of that), but expectations are a sure form of mental torture to say the least.

Before you crucify me or throw rotten eggs on my imaginary Porsche window, let me explain.

See when you expect someone to act a certain way or base your purchase from a well crafted advert you are well in the throes of setting yourself up for disappointment.

Again before you start throwing shade or whatever is thrown these days, I can elaborate.

Let me paint for you a picture for you…

You are a newly minted Tinder user, having put your best foot forward ie. your professionally shot profile pictures, that catchy bio you know first impressions and all that. You swipe right to that equally well minted hottie and you delve into chat mode. One chat leads to another, you exchange contacts and a date is set. Well, easy peasy you must think by now. But when you go to meet them at changed venues, and meet them looking disheveled and you put your Sunday best your mood is dampened. He/She doesn’t smile to greet you and all you can wonder if it was a good idea leaving your hot toasty bed to spend with this individual. But hey, they too might have had a different expectation of you and things go downhill from that.

Listen, I could go on and even tell stories but that’s not what you opened this blog for.

I could also go into gory realities of a first date or a badly/wrongly delivered order and still get to tell you that some of the expectations we have tend to be farfetched, and most of us need to relearn what are healthy and unhealthy expectations.

They even warn you during marriage counseling to not go with expectations of what your spouse should be and do, or so I’ve been told.

Don’t get me wrong, it is good to have standards, and healthy expectations but with the social media we have these days a little open minded view of what is in store for you and I can be a game changer.

So for my advice to you and really myself is to put less expectations and demands based on what you are told to believe until you experience it kinda like living the real life Doubting Thomas.

Don’t mind my New Age thinking but seriously, this is me just telling you to weigh it out before you fall prey to expectations squashed.

This is coming from the heart of a forever squashed expectations girl living her life tryna beat that mindset.

That said, I present you a collage of me wearing a wig contrary to my expectation of how it would turn out. But for real though, I thought I’d look like a clown only to feel like a Madonna of some sort. JKπŸ˜‰

Enjoy!

The END

What I’m loving this week:

Thank you for reading!

πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«Β 

 

Posted in Family, Life, Motivation, People, Relationships, Stories From Dee

Of Dreamers and Doers

Ever wanted to perfectly curate/compose something so bad that you ended up feeling numb and end up not doing that which you wanted to come up with in the first place?
Yeah? I’ve been thinking of that for the most part of this week. If you are like me, I have just the right words for you this week.

Out of experience there have been a myriad of creations left to lie on the back burner in the crevices of my creativity. There’s this stifling stagnation that just comes and you’re left to wonder what in the world came onto you. Kinda like how cartoons blink simultaneously and twinkle sounds are left to be the only reverberation coming out. Or should I say the classic Tom and Jerry gulp πŸ€”

Sometimes I wonder if other people have the same issue. Yet again I think it’s borderline lazy at times but surely there has to be a name for it. Might Google it and let you know but I’m also stuck on some work related reports that are more likely to earn me a salary than searching for the term… Just kidding, will look it up and update the blog once I do.

Also there is the part where you wonder if some people have their destinies curved out and you’re in for speculation when your next big albeit not so great break is going to come rolling in. But hey so is life, and every soul out here has a path for them. Their ups and downs however you choose to call it. The point of this post is to inspire you to take all that comes to you to keep pushing on and be a dreamer when the chance comes but most definitely push yourself to be a doer, something I am constantly learning and relearning.

Speaking of dreamers and doers, my lil sis is the later, sometimes next week she will graduate! You guyssss! This is huuuuge for us! Compared to my achievements education speaking hers is a stark contrast compared to my meager steps! This post is an ode to her and a lil humble brag of what a genius she keeps proving to our wittle family. From the time she went started school to us she was our book maven, her and the bro DTM! They were the smart duo of the haus. As for me and Japh, well we got the creative side and we are not so bad off. But the thing, lil sis has hit a first! Our first successful graduate! She is a stellar performer that one! So if you can, congratulate here in the comment section below. She’ll be reading and I’ll ask her to reply. Guh! I am so proud it’s gonna happen in almost a week from now!

Dear sis,

I pray as you transition from here on that God’s goodness keep shining on your life. May it be a path that is full of dreams and actions that will continuously make you more than anyone else happy, alive and full of triumphant victories!

XX

Proud big seestar Dee β™‘

Here is a collage to celebrate the awesome dreamer she has been and doer she keeps being!!!! Love you bigggg lil sis! I am so proud of you! words CANNOT express how proud I am of ya!!!

🎡 Just keep on breathin’ n breathin’ n breathin’ n breathin’!!!!!!!🎡

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What I’m loving this week:

Hope you had a kick reading, enjoying the links I shared and looking at the crazy poses my sis and I had to torture my brother Japh to take.

Thank you for reading!

πŸ’« Peace Love Light πŸ’«Β