My Truth Hurt

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It stung so bad to realize that no matter what I did my truth would never leave me. In a bid to wrangle it and make it go away I dashed back and forth trying to figure out why nothing I yearned for(fantasy) was being squelched in my face. I felt like a failure… All the while my truth stung… I walked, talked, and masked myself away from it. I lived the lie. So many things looked as if they would disappear if only I his my truth deeper in the abyss of “forget me not”, silly me thought…
Not only was I dreaming, that was a reality, there was nothing to forget about. For goodness sake it was to be hidden in an abyss called “forget me not”! How do you forget such a looming stomach-knotting verity.
Obsessed in taunting myself away from reality I grew a fake mustache, eyebrow, and body all the same. I became a different me. They call life a journey for a good reason… It is in that journey that you realize some weight needs to be shade or gained(for endurance) and some hair needs to be grown or cut(for appearance) but I digress… The stupor I found myself in, put me in a full throttle chase of the proverbial rainbow end, the type you chase butterflies in a big field just across your home in the boons. It ripped my heart to know that no matter how far I ran from my truth, the constant “knock” of the forlorn cataclysmic attack of truth that I buried in my eating, dressing and just my whole being… I couldn’t run away from it anymore…
I had to face her(my truth), sort of like coming tête à tête with my nemesis and crying my heart out in front of her. I listened to her, and she listened to me. Hard and enervating as it was I got through it. I had to face my truth in order to serge forward. I had to have a deep “convo” with my past to be emancipated. I just had to come clean with my reality. There was no denying it’s dents, heartbreaks and all that jazz. Only then could I feel the warmth of the sunshine called progress, and healing as I embarked en route to freedom. In that journey I hope to stir a few souls up to pursue a fulfilling life too.
PS, my good readers: I am a spiritual person for as long as I can remember so that really led to my acceptance of my truth much easier because it is in God’s like be have I become more aware of what grace really has in store for me. (Just a disclaimer for those who tend to misread thoughts of an up and coming scribe)
Love, Peace and joy to you my friends!
From the musings of Tuyidee into your hearts, oh reader of mine 💕

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