I regret

It’s #MCM on Instagram guys!!! To some it’s Man Crush Monday, others Man Candy Monday but a few of my male readers are in the Man Crashed Monday. So last we spoke I talked about writing a male sequel to  the blog post But you promised to love me because a few of my male readers asked me to give a male perspective. I cooked a little something for you guys and I hope you like it. Let me know in the comments below. Like. Share and spread the word 😁
Here goes:

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When you refused to give me your number, something they call “playing hard to get”, I worked so hard to impress you. My bass that had you secretly fall in love was my weaponry. You loved it. Your body language confirmed it. Plus the muscular features I have worked wonders I could only imagine. Time flew and I had you by my side. I couldn’t believe I had you. When you whispered my name in my ears, “Damon” it was the most ethereal feeling on earth to me. I felt accepted and I wanted to do more. It’s amazing what a wink and thoughtful gifts can do.

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Even though you disliked certain parts of your body I let you know you were perfect for me and they were loveable because you owned them. I called to check on you and that satisfied my heart in ways that only a true lover can understand. See the parts you vehemently detested gave me a chance to let you know how valuable you are to me.
You told me you kissed a lot of “frogs” and hated that the love you needed was not reciprocated and I decided to prove to you that not everyone is a “frog” but some of us are princes in need of a princess like you to reverse the curse that has long encaged us.
Your fear for public affection seemed ok at first. But when you posted on your social media networks snaps of you and other dudes, I was appalled. Was I not worth a feature in your art gallery collection? I wondered…
When I sent you love notes at work with the peonies you so loved and you would immediately call and ask what I wanted and why I sent the flowers, that hurt so much- Heartbroken. To me deep down, I knew you were aware of the immensity of my love for you. To this day I wonder was it hard to reciprocate? I wanted to make you happy but you were so caught up in doubt and playing me that you couldn’t see it.
I regret. I regret the time I spent trying to figure out what was wrong with me that I forgot to realize all along the one with an emotional scar was the one that shoved me to the pit of self hate and an emotional drain.

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Note: I am female and these don’t necessarily reflect the opinions of guys… This is just a little trial because I think some guys experience it but don’t say it out loud. Hope I put a point out though. If you feel like a relationship isn’t serving you right then by all means know your value and the only way is by being by yourself and learning to love yourself. No matter how uncomfortable it is try to value your me time and your experience will give you a boost to give love and receive love. It’s a proven fact.

To love and be loved is the gift that every soul desires in this journey of life.

Peace. Love and Light to you friends.


Go Deeper

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Sometimes the sexual appeal comes to a halting stop. The wink that sent shivers down your neck becomes mundane. And altogether stops being freely given to you. This is life. But dear, did you go deeper?
Don’t get it the wrong way… I ain’t telling you to pull your skirt up and do the you know what with your man! I mean conversing. Because the whirlwind romance will eventually wane out. All of a sudden you won’t be the most sexy person in the room. Least to say, you will be like “one of the boys.”
It ends pooh. It surely ends. But make sure before it ends your wit, fun and artistic creation doesn’t fade off with it. Remember when he whispered “Camille” in your ears and the first thing you ran to was your painting tools? Yes, that awkward day when you painted a masterpiece that only lives in your room because of the raunchy memories it gives you? Ha! Or the baking spree. Yes the baking spree. Your chocolate chip cookies that he swears by his pa’s grave to be the sweetest thing on earth, though he quips to tell you that they have nothing on you? Sweety, don’t let that fizzle out too. You are a creator of something new and fun.

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When you met, chances are you loved how he made you laugh until your tears flowed freely. You didn’t care because you knew that put a smile on his face too. You also had words of wisdom that you threw around like confetti. You met and a certain part of both of you clicked and almost instantly you started to complete each other’s sentences like kids do when they think they are geniuses 😂. These funny statements had you reeling off and your ribs ached afterwards; you didn’t mind at all.
My point exactly? To be really interesting  in whoever you meet (Relationships can be draining at times -› been there done that) get to the nitty gritty of why in the first place you liked them. Don’t just stick in the phase of shivers all around your body. That shall definitely end (sorry to say that, but it is what it is *shrugs*).

✔Note: So guys, I have heard the word sapiosexual before and I didn’t quite understand it the first instance but didn’t bother to look it up from the dictionary. I have this habit of looking up interesting words up when they come to mind especially in my sleep or as I run my day to day errands; eerily enough this word came back to me when I was having those solitude moments asking “mineself” all the weird questions on earth aka self-assessment… This is one of the words that clarify why some certain things didn’t work out and fully describes who you are and what you stand for. I was taken aback by the way. Now I know why I act a certain way. I ain’t cut of the same fabric with some folks. It is what it is. I gotta accept it. *Quietly shrugs*
Anyway, long chat aside, it is truly great to be by yourself and know what you really want than to mess it up with just a small fleeting moment that will last as long as it takes to blink. Ephemeral love affair to be precise!
We all want more and lasting. Sisters, I know you feel me. And gents (because my male readers asked me to write a lil something for them. I promise I am working on something. Fun fact: It would have been before this one but this article couldn’t last any longer. I just had to. Bear with me 😉 )I know you too don’t want to waste your time and energy on fruitless romance. So here’s the deal, get deeper before deeper becomes something else, if you know what I mean 😉
OK… My time is out but I hope to see you sooner with something else.

Life is a blissful flower. Learn to smell it and savor its worth while there is still time.


Peace. Love. Light.

But You Promised To Love Me

You must have noticed by now I am a gushy person. So this next post is definitely accrued from a story by some of my friends to me and also part of my little life experience. Here’s to you friends, enjoy!

It felt like yesterday when you called and told me you were ready for the next chapter. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn’t believe my ears. Funny how we had known each other this long but I still had my heart skip. My heart mellows at that picture in my head.

We went on dates. But you feared that people would see us together, so sneakily you walked ahead of me. At first it felt like you wanted to lead. I wanted to hold hands in public but then you would gently squeeze them away. Still I thought it was the macho man in you that feared PDA. In a public space I wanted to chat with you like we used to in text messages but you said people will get to hear our conversation. Again I thought me being an extrovert for an introvert like you it would be well when I left our chats for when we were alone. I was so clouded with the fairy tale idea of having a prince charming by me that I had created an epic fail illusion trick on my mind, then it dawned on me that maybe you were not proud of me alongside you in our walks.

Yes I was rusty when the relationship begun. Took me seconds to be a wild flower, I mean who wouldn’t glow with smiles from ear to ear with glee at the sight of a hunk like you. Tall, buff and all shades of the perfect masculine effervescence that can make any girly girl twirl around in her imaginary tutu skirt days on end. I now wore the perfume you liked, put as little make up so that it wouldn’t dirty your shirt when we hugged. You said you liked lip gloss better than lipstick. I carried my gloss everywhere in my bag. See, the effect you had on me was the possessed kind. Never in my day did I feel that I was wrong for screaming yes yes a countless times. I just felt that it was the best day of my days every time we spent time together.

It didn’t take you long though to make the best picture I should have cherished my entire life into being the most grotesque vision ever. This time you had me at my worst, my face a little too puffy from all the crying and my mascara drooping shamelessly. Looking at my face in the mirror had me bawling all over again. Yes, of what we could have had and how ugly I look from my crying situation. They say it’s best to know someone before you commit but we knew each other from way back. It was no big deal. Fiercely a lover I expected to be told that you loved me countless times but the few times you said it I still had the unbelief that I had when you first called and told me you wanted a next chapter for us.

Change is inevitable they say, so I shall accept my experience to be the teacher in disguise I so needed for maturity to take place and walk head high fully acknowledging that it was never meant to be. The hurt, the fear of being lonely and a deciduous grim reminder of being unworthy of your time cascade my emotions at times but that shall not dull my shine no more. I choose to be stronger and focused on the things that make me better. And when the one who shall mean and say that they love me and be purposeful about I shall skeet and dance and twirl for that day I shall not compromise to make them happy as we both shall be on the same level.

          To all girls out there that have had their fragile hearts broken and felt that they didn’t mean anything, this is for you. The nights you wondered if it is something you did and the days you spent wishing that all your fears could evaporate in the hot sunshine will end when you truly love you for who you are. Warts and all.

Have a lovely moment wherever you are on this beautiful earth we have been given.

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