Journey

Journey

When it comes to the word journey the first thing that pops to mind is a picture of a car, plane or a route one uses.

In my view, journey is a huge word when put in the context of traversing earth. See, the moment you begin life so much is set and expected of you.

I’ll be the first to admit that initially as a carefree child it makes no sense but as one tends to grow it takes a tall order especially if no one close enough to you has walked a similar path.

Well, truth be told – I, like many of you, have had my share in this journey called ‘life’.

Today I’ll give you a glimpse of it albeit the entirety won’t be feasible since I’m still ‘walking life’ and some past events are best left for an all encompassing book.

With life’s journey comes change. And boy has change been a constant in my life. I’ll take you through various phases and title them accordingly.

Living

First up is living. It all started growing up in Kenya. So many great and not so great things happened. But my pivotal point was coming back to Rwanda after so many years away in Kenya. Just like that, I was back to my roots. Something I don’t take lightly. Back home I have learnt to be independent, to trust again but most of all to put my full trust in God’s sovereign plan over my life. It’s not easy hacking life away from all the familiar things and people you’ve grown up with. They anchor you into being safe and secure but when you learn to soar they can do little to help you but hope and pray for your best.

So basically I went from living the pampered by momma and constant bickering with them siblings life to the solely dependent on God kind of life.

I came here with only my clothes and lived with my relatives. As is sometimes possible collusions happen and parting ways is the only wise way to attain peace.

All didn’t go south though, I got to stay with great family friends even if it was merely two weeks tops to which I moved to a place closer to my new job then. I lived alone, like the amateur I was, got into a lot of trouble and absolutely had a time of my life. It was what it was until I moved to live with my awesome roommate Sophie. She was and is going to be my most awesome roomie. I’ve never had a roommate so hers and mine was a beautiful friendship that was born out of it all. To be honest I’d write another blog about her when I get the chance to.

Currently, I am back to living alone just because she got a transfer to Nairobi *sniff sniff.

Family

I might get backlash for not having this as the first in line but this topic comes second because it’s heavy. Who I am, my tricks to survival is because of my family. My immediate family to be precise. From the time I was little I had them. The good, bad and ugly days were intertwined with them. Still are. I cry over the phone with them. I laugh out loudly at the endless inside jokes that one of us brings up. I get them. They get me. Even when one of us goes astray, life has taught me to have some faith. Our parents strived to live a righteous life in our little eyes as we grew up and if anything without a doubt, life and Love directs us to the path of righteousness. As with you and your family there is that one thing that keeps you grounded. For my family, that has to be our faith.

To momma, DTM, Fifi and BJM y’all are the most precious gifts I have been given by God in this journey I daily traverse. Love cover each of you no matter how far apart we are from each other.

Also, this post titled Dad is an homage I wrote to my pa who turned 19 the other day up in heaven. I miss you daily ❤

Weight and a health conscience

Let me be honest, I stumbled on my weight loss journey. When I moved to Rwanda I was as clueless as to what my health was about and how it was resulting to my weight issues. Simply put, I never put so much thought to what I fed my body with. I just ate anything edible to mankind with no restrictions. Although I don’t often post my before and after pictures as I should rightly do, doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Truth be told, it has been one amazing journey. Prior to this, I had never known what it was to weigh less from the time I was little. And if ever I was slimmer that had to do with some stress which I would quickly outgrow and revert to eating back to my bigger size.

If you may my weight had its fair share of the yo-yo effect. To this day, I still have my moments of yo-yo weight gain but in a more manageable way now.

To be honest it started with the good old tired of how I couldn’t fit in the cute dresses I saw on sale or the gifts from well meaning friends. Then I had many endless health discomforts. I did a lot of reading and research to which I discovered I was suffering from celiac disease and it all made perfect sense. I talked to a doctor suggested by a friend. She advised me to try the gluten free diet before making the appointment with her. I had no medical cover so that went pretty well. Slowly, I begun eliminating certain foods that caused me more harm than good. So far so good. I am more conscious of what I put in my body. I rarely exercise other than take long walks to keep me fit. So it’s best that I take care of what I put in my system. Going back is not an an option.

This journey I take to heart and although I have my days when I get off track I always strive to go back to this tested and tried route that has brought my wellness to an all time high.

As a result, however, I am limited to certain types of food. I am so grateful that the gluten free diet, the ovo pescatarian diet and the Mediterranean diet are readily available here in Kigali.

You could check out this piece I wrote on my love for making wholesome food and how I do it in case you want to add something to your healthy eating: Home Cooking by Dee

Hair

The hair is a woman’s crown so they say. Mine has had its fair share of change as well. I remember reading an article back in the day that an average woman changes her hair 20 times in her lifetime. I guess going by that article I am above average 😊

Ha, but seriously like my food and wellness choices, I decided to take research by its horns and read as much as I could on natural hair growth. It has taken its own course. Short, poofy, shrunken, unkempt, you name it.

Then cam the day when my awesome boyfriend inspired my current hairstyle. I always wanted to grow dreadlocks but had my reservations. When he lauded my desire, I knew I had to do something. So on my birthday this year back in Kenya, I rallied my momma and little bro to accompany me to the salon to get my baby locks created 😍

They started as wax dreadlocks but in Kigali I found their speciality is in crochet dreads. After 3 painful salon visits I graciously bumped on ‘freeform locs’ and boy am I happy. Salons have the same effect as going to a hospital does to me. Not that those are bad places but this girl right here is pretty hands on. Don’t be shocked to find me searching for homemade remedies for practically everything possible made from home or natural ways and DIYs in the same manner.

Love

First I had to love myself fully.

After bad relationships you tend to get hard on yourself. You tend to end up hating those people or hating yourself for selling yourself short. I realized I had a lot to learn about myself as I matured up. I admit it never is easy but the end result is, you end up being more human in the way you treat yourself and in the way you expect others to treat you. Besides you get a bonus on confidence. This is very important especially if you want to be truly happy and have long lasting relationships with people.

Just yesterday I was reading an article about expanding one’s capacity to love and it made proper sense to me in many ways.

That said I can never thank God enough for blessing me this year with someone very special who has made me one happy girl when I had finally given up on relationships.

Dear Jesse, you my love, have made me grateful for all those past heartaches because without them I would never have appreciated what we have. Thank you for your love ❤

Yours truly,

Dee 😍😊

Faith

You guys, I can’t begin to explain how my Faith has grown tremendously. I don’t take for granted all that has happened to me.

Let’s face it when you are in trying times it’s very easy to run to your Faith but the hardest of days is when things seem to be going okay that you forget what your Faith can do for you.

My journey really has no essence at all if it doesn’t streamline to my Faith. That is why my journey and Faith are strongly intertwined and boy would I be darned if I let one take more preeminence of the other especially the journey itself.

Life in general

In conclusion I wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell you how hard it gets when you walk this life alone. I have so many people I would love to thank for making my journey here on earth just as pleasant. You know who you are. In small or big ways – what you do doesn’t go unnoticed.

To friends who:

•When you are jobless with no idea how you’ll get money to survive the next dreadful days help you with just the right amount needed.

•When you have a lot and you need someone to remind you to share or take it slow as you journey on.

•Check up on you when you least expect it or do something major for you – the kind you had no expectations of.

One such friend this week is my old highschool friend and sister to my sweet HS BFF Anisa, Amal. Thank you so much dear Amal for that sweet and very heartfelt gesture. You saved me big time 😘

And to each of you of my friends who fit the not necessarily befitting of you categories, thank you for being my friend in ways I can never repay. I can’t thank each of you enough.

In addition, life is great when you chose to seek for the good in all circumstances. If nothing else goes with you after this read, please remember to find your positivity and pursue it as much as you can. You’ll go places.

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Ha! I can’t believe I have finally finished this! Been planning all week to write and post it but something would come up and I’d push it for another time. Oh to be a writer 😅

Also I am finally unpacking my clothes after almost 4 days in this new house so wish me luck 😉

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Let’s get talking… Tell me how your journey has been. Let’s see how you manage to stay strong in your journey. I strongly believe in the power of sharing your story with others because it helps make their journey more bearable. You know, the you’re not alone kind of feeling.

Thank you for reading. Peace 💟

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Confessions of a serial silent self-loather

Confessions of a serial silent self-loather
As vast as the big plains are should the love you have for yourself be equal. It’s all fun and games till you hurt yourself deeply and no one can ever mend it. You are a gem so take care of yourself accordingly.

Hey you there,

Yes you with the svelte look tonight. That body hugging little black dress you frequently put on to see if you’ve gained weight or not. I see you.
You that looked like you had something to say but your voice among the numbers felt like a Lilliput in the face of many Gullivers. I hear you.

You who seemingly will fall head over heels for someone who ‘pretended’ to ‘care’ for you just because you have felt ugly all your life… Thinking no one can ever ‘really love you’. I bleed for you.

It takes time to heal, it takes time to accept moreover it takes time to relearn how to love you.

Don’t take it for granted that you have those troubles with yourself. You are not alone. The deeper self in you is waking you up to face this eternal anathema tête-à-tête.

Maybe tomorrow you will love better. Be better. Smile better. Do better. But it has to start today.

Promise me you there will love you warts and all, ’cause that will bring an exuberance untold in my heart of heartshearts 💕

Just like these woven baskets at a display, learn to love who you are. Your beauty and flaws are meant to compliment you and connect you with those you meet. It matters to love who you are!

Tune it on out loud!

Tune it on out loud!

Hey, it’s Thursday! Drop all what you are doing and let me tell you this new idea I came up with. So every Thursday, I have committed myself to write something for you up here or on my other blog at Travel Dee Lights and my YouTube Channel Denise Tuyi but my Facebook page TuyiDee Writings & Photography and my twitter and IG pages @tuyidee @tuyidee will be updating my daily stuff though. This is basically my way of being a consistent blogger. So here’s to a commitment that I hope to keep as long as I can. *Clink clink*

Take a seat and get ready to enjoy this read
Take a seat and get ready to enjoy this read

So with commitment comes matters of the heart. To me heart and soul is my resounding love for music. So I just want to light it down a little and drive you guys to a serene moment in my day as a writer. Sometimes I write with my earphones on location and sometimes I just blast the music up loud. It is in these moments that my literary crazies bop and come to life. Back to business, I wrote this tribute to my love, M U S I C!!! (Insert as many heart emojis you can think of here) *drops mic*

Here goes:

Image via Google
Image via Google

The world is music:- In the company of boring individuals your solace is your favorite beat jamming slowly in the midst of the awkward banter of the unnerving camaraderie. In the moment of your alone space and time, the blasting of your earphones sends spasms of delight to your inner being. In the comfort of your family car you all bop heads to the classic timeless songs that are near and dear to you all. Basically, music has a soothing ambiance when put in its rightful place i.e everywhere.

Image via Google
Image via Google

I have an uncanny selection of my playlist, I have a variety of songs and genres that help define who and what I believe in. Of course I am not biased in my choice but to really get to the crux of my heart and soul the music vibe has to be appealing. I can close my eyes and the song will touch all the nooks and cranny of my whole being. The softness, the uptempo the utterly mashed up din that remains the ultimate strained beat you could ever dream of conjuring are the kinds of music that has me swaying.

The Love I have for music is magical
The Love I have for music is magical

Just to be clear, there is no particular way to get your groove going. I dance in the any-which-how way kind of dance and it just goes with the cadence of the beat. You could bop your head, move your legs or whatever tickles your fancy. Well, I ain’t no hype lady but if my favorite song plays, I shall let all that lark in my vicinity drop all they have and shindig to the beats of that sound.

Image via google
Image via google

To the lovers of music and all that radiates musical tunes and the dreamers that feel like they want to create something musical, this is for you. Turn those beats up today and let the music take you where you really belong… The Sound-waves utopia…

Peace and love to you friends 🙂

Go Deeper

Go Deeper
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Image via Urban Dictionary

Sometimes the sexual appeal comes to a halting stop. The wink that sent shivers down your neck becomes mundane. And altogether stops being freely given to you. This is life. But dear, did you go deeper?
Don’t get it the wrong way… I ain’t telling you to pull your skirt up and do the you know what with your man! I mean conversing. Because the whirlwind romance will eventually wane out. All of a sudden you won’t be the most sexy person in the room. Least to say, you will be like “one of the boys.”
It ends pooh. It surely ends. But make sure before it ends your wit, fun and artistic creation doesn’t fade off with it. Remember when he whispered “Camille” in your ears and the first thing you ran to was your painting tools? Yes, that awkward day when you painted a masterpiece that only lives in your room because of the raunchy memories it gives you? Ha! Or the baking spree. Yes the baking spree. Your chocolate chip cookies that he swears by his pa’s grave to be the sweetest thing on earth, though he quips to tell you that they have nothing on you? Sweety, don’t let that fizzle out too. You are a creator of something new and fun.

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Image via epicurious.co

When you met, chances are you loved how he made you laugh until your tears flowed freely. You didn’t care because you knew that put a smile on his face too. You also had words of wisdom that you threw around like confetti. You met and a certain part of both of you clicked and almost instantly you started to complete each other’s sentences like kids do when they think they are geniuses 😂. These funny statements had you reeling off and your ribs ached afterwards; you didn’t mind at all.
My point exactly? To be really interesting  in whoever you meet (Relationships can be draining at times -› been there done that) get to the nitty gritty of why in the first place you liked them. Don’t just stick in the phase of shivers all around your body. That shall definitely end (sorry to say that, but it is what it is *shrugs*).

✔Note: So guys, I have heard the word sapiosexual before and I didn’t quite understand it the first instance but didn’t bother to look it up from the dictionary. I have this habit of looking up interesting words up when they come to mind especially in my sleep or as I run my day to day errands; eerily enough this word came back to me when I was having those solitude moments asking “mineself” all the weird questions on earth aka self-assessment… This is one of the words that clarify why some certain things didn’t work out and fully describes who you are and what you stand for. I was taken aback by the way. Now I know why I act a certain way. I ain’t cut of the same fabric with some folks. It is what it is. I gotta accept it. *Quietly shrugs*
Anyway, long chat aside, it is truly great to be by yourself and know what you really want than to mess it up with just a small fleeting moment that will last as long as it takes to blink. Ephemeral love affair to be precise!
We all want more and lasting. Sisters, I know you feel me. And gents (because my male readers asked me to write a lil something for them. I promise I am working on something. Fun fact: It would have been before this one but this article couldn’t last any longer. I just had to. Bear with me 😉 )I know you too don’t want to waste your time and energy on fruitless romance. So here’s the deal, get deeper before deeper becomes something else, if you know what I mean 😉
OK… My time is out but I hope to see you sooner with something else.

Life is a blissful flower. Learn to smell it and savor its worth while there is still time.

~TuyiDee

Peace. Love. Light.

A-Z of 2015 ( My Wish For You)

A-Z of 2015 ( My Wish For You)
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Photo Credit: Instagram

Hey wonderful people. I was thinking on what to post before the year ends and a tug at my heart urged me to write on uplifting words from the dictionary in an alphabetical pattern. They might not be all the words there are in the universe to address the need to be uplifted but they are worth it… I love poring through the dictionary in my downtime and it’s befitting that I share with you what I found, in form of a prayer specially for you my amazing readers. So here goes:

A-Z PRAYER FOR 2015.

May this year be of Auspicious realities to you and all you meet. May an avalanche of ideas and provisions surround you as the year progresses.
May you be Bright-eyed in all you do in brio and vim.
May you Create a moment to savor your surroundings, the cadence of life and the joys it brings.
May the Decisions you make give you a sense of direction and desire to do more than expected.
May you Emulate those that are wiser and of age before their ideas and efforts evanesce into oblivion.
May your Foresight through faith in God be the frosting on the cake as the year unfolds so that in hindsight you will have learnt more as you forge ahead.
May you Gravitate towards your passion, gifts, and strengths acknowledging and seeking God in all you do.
May whatever negative situations and people Hurl at you brush off not hindering you from your goals.
May your Invaluable services, ideas, and actions draw businesses to you.
May you have the Joie-de-vivre and a jocund mood as you deal with life’s daily demands.
May the Kindness in your heart and the enterprise in your work leave no room for kvetching.
May all that you Long for bring you lucrative opportunities and ideas as you lift those beneath you. Don’t forget to listen in love.
May you learn from the Moguls in your field and beyond as you build your own business as a magnate yourself.
May Nonexistent fears of the unknown and not doing anything as a result never cross you your mind!
May you be Open-minded as you encounter the opinions of others and your own.
May you be Prudent in your daily activities leaving out the presumptuous notion that money comes to they that are corrupt.
May your Quintessential goal in your quest for success be that of enriching others and leaving the place you are better than you found it.
May you Render the rarities about your journey from the critics, null as you realize the wild reveries in your heart of hearts.
May Surreal occurrences surround you as you remain in awe of what sheer belief and trust can do to they that surrender their all to the one Supreme being, creator and ruler of the universe.
May your Tomorrow’s bring sunshine to your struggles of today.
May your Ultimate goal and dream be rid of ulterior motives but rather for the utmost good to all and sundry.
May Vain and vague people in your life be exposed as your value for veritable friendships grows.
May your Worth be in who you are as a person and your wellbeing be in your awareness of your spirituality.
May all you deemed as X’s in your life yield in being the X-factor that propels you to higher heights.
May all you Yearn for be a yearlong fulfilment as you traverse the course of 2015.
May your Zeal to your passion and love for the good of all you do and encounter drive you to your zenith.
{Finally, may your tenacity give you a sense of satisfaction, as Pollyanna of this wish for me this is I sincerely hope that all will be hunky-dory when we tell 2015 adieu…}

• Blooper: Ha, hope you like this cliché sounding prayer of mine. I tried to make it as genuine as possible and that right there is what I conjured.
• Note: In the Finally segment above, those words in bold didn’t cut in the list so I decided to squeeze them in coz I loved their life in words…
• Honestly: My wish for you all is a great new year full of great lessons to learn and to grow from. No one has it together but don’t forget that joining hands with others gives you an upper hand in all you do. When all is said and done may your will to conquer be more than your fear for the unknown. May the odds be in your favor.

Happy New Year 2015!
XO,
Denise T.
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Image via @Kb_hga (Instagram)

Respect is a two way street.

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Since it’s #WCW in the Instagram world, I feel inspired to write something about my favorite species this side of Sahara. (Guys, you are allowed to read and share with the women you care about{just in case you thought of stopping the read} ☺)
Well, first and foremost I have had so many women around me since I was little and since I am female too, I don’t know what else to do but write on who I love being most!
Not digressing from the title of my post, this life is all about respect. I really admire women who respect themselves enough to attract the respect back. Life could be better to any girl if all she ever did was use the proverbial Midas touch on to herself and accept all that she is by embracing the fact that no matter what, warts and all, she is a masterpiece from our Creator- Gold if you may.
I know there are a lot of women self-help quotes out there, but until a woman is female enough to realize that she has the power inside of her being to change what she loves  to hate and love most(and to many of us=Our bodies). Until then, her life will be an unforthcoming, unfulfilling journey that will forever be a hindrance to her spiritual growth albeit her entire demeanor…
So dear girlfriend, wherever you are whatever you do. Take time and respect yourself enough to respect yourself! So many women are setting those bars high, you better follow them and get inspired and live a life you ought to be living by being yourself and the vibrations you exude from your self-respect will resound to all and sundry.
It’s a small post to celebrate all the sweet women I know, and those I am yet to meet. Happy #wcw sweetie pies. You are loved.

(A little background info: I have been to an all girls school for most of my highschool and I have an affinity to all I met there… They celebrated me and I did the same, we understood each other and that is what crowns why I love being female! It is incredible to be one!)
Kisses to all of you my readers… Have a great day, night or evening 💞

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My Truth Hurt

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It stung so bad to realize that no matter what I did my truth would never leave me. In a bid to wrangle it and make it go away I dashed back and forth trying to figure out why nothing I yearned for(fantasy) was being squelched in my face. I felt like a failure… All the while my truth stung… I walked, talked, and masked myself away from it. I lived the lie. So many things looked as if they would disappear if only I his my truth deeper in the abyss of “forget me not”, silly me thought…
Not only was I dreaming, that was a reality, there was nothing to forget about. For goodness sake it was to be hidden in an abyss called “forget me not”! How do you forget such a looming stomach-knotting verity.
Obsessed in taunting myself away from reality I grew a fake mustache, eyebrow, and body all the same. I became a different me. They call life a journey for a good reason… It is in that journey that you realize some weight needs to be shade or gained(for endurance) and some hair needs to be grown or cut(for appearance) but I digress… The stupor I found myself in, put me in a full throttle chase of the proverbial rainbow end, the type you chase butterflies in a big field just across your home in the boons. It ripped my heart to know that no matter how far I ran from my truth, the constant “knock” of the forlorn cataclysmic attack of truth that I buried in my eating, dressing and just my whole being… I couldn’t run away from it anymore…
I had to face her(my truth), sort of like coming tête à tête with my nemesis and crying my heart out in front of her. I listened to her, and she listened to me. Hard and enervating as it was I got through it. I had to face my truth in order to serge forward. I had to have a deep “convo” with my past to be emancipated. I just had to come clean with my reality. There was no denying it’s dents, heartbreaks and all that jazz. Only then could I feel the warmth of the sunshine called progress, and healing as I embarked en route to freedom. In that journey I hope to stir a few souls up to pursue a fulfilling life too.
PS, my good readers: I am a spiritual person for as long as I can remember so that really led to my acceptance of my truth much easier because it is in God’s like be have I become more aware of what grace really has in store for me. (Just a disclaimer for those who tend to misread thoughts of an up and coming scribe)
Love, Peace and joy to you my friends!
From the musings of Tuyidee into your hearts, oh reader of mine 💕